I’m tired of keeping this to myself.
In short:
Someone New manufactured a crisis situation wherein I had to declare my feelings one way or the other (and to spare him, I’ll leave out the details). I gave him the answer he wanted – that I love him and would stay with him. He told me he wanted to marry me, spend his life with me. I operated on the assumption that we were building a relationship that would last. Now, he says he doesn’t love me the way I love him.
So, I was manipulated into having certain feelings for him, and now he’s punishing me for having those feelings.
He told me he’s lied to me since day one, because he wanted me to like him, because I was so much cooler than him (which is such a bullshit thing to say). He lied about the kind of guy he is: tough, a fighter, someone who is always in charge and doesn’t take any crap, etc, etc. Sure, those qualities are attractive in a certain way, but I liked much more the fact that he was sweet and dorky and that he tried to be good.
We had so much fun together. We could have just dated and enjoyed each other’s company and had fun. But he made it into something so much more intense and now he’s just decided he doesn’t want that. I’m confused and hurt and I don’t understand why that was necessary in the first place. You can’t just play with someone’s heart like that.
In the end, I feel sorry for him. The worst part of all of this is that if we could go back and start over, I would. I forgive him and I want him to be okay. I’m not angry, just sad. Just disappointed.
